In the work I've done on my own head, as well as how I've shared that with those around me... I don't have lesson plans, time lines, or enforcement.
My work is all centered on how specific kinds of changes remove irritants from my life. They either make sense and work or the person shouldn't use them. A very pragmatic view. No doctrine.
The work starts with imagining who we'd most like to be in the future. Imagining that, visioning it... And then taking concrete steps to get there whenever we can. Importantly, it also involves being compassionate with ourselves in learning from mistakes.
The effort centers on learning how to lay down new habits along side the existing ones, and that are more in alignment with being someone we can admire.
That way, when we arrive at the moment of decision, the possibilities are already planned and practiced. We don't have to spend the executive function required to step back, take a closer look at it, and devise an alternative from scratch. Or just do the thing we're trying to change because we don't have the mental bandwidth to decide something new just then.
In addition, every habit we create has a lubricity relative to other habits. They can help support a new habit, or hinder it. In order to manage my own ADD, I look for new habits that remove friction and help lubricate being the person I'd most like to be.
The question I ask my students most often is: So what's in the way of that? And how could we work around or though that obstacle to get closer to the person you most wanna be?
So I go through life patiently removing one irritant at a time... And sharing with others how to do so... Because why not? Why not use that energy saved for making the world somehow better?
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