Akien's DCII as an Example
Copyright (c) 2025 Akien Maciain, all rights reserved.
Email me to use this material elsewhere.
This version: 20250819.1
This is my living document where I'm tracking amongst other things, why I'm confident about being confident.
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About Me
Name:
Akien Maciain
Role(s) / Aspirations:
Who am I and who do I want to become
I aspire to be a good man who helps people to make their lives suck less. Perhaps a minister of suck less.
Emergency Page: Read This First When I’m Struggling
A curated one-pager of highlights, quotes, and self-talk designed to cut through self-doubt fast.
- In the first 7 months of 2025, I went from the evolutionarily changed person I had been, who saw himself more or less the same way he had all his adult life... To someone confident about being confident. Having faith in Mister Wizard, in my writing, in my relationship skills, at work... One of several revolutionary changes in me over the years.
- My kids both asked for coaching or for it to continue
- Leah stuck with me during my post-Kaye and post-Dawn time, one of the worst in my life because I was worth it to her
- Marnie
- Krissy kept holding the connection with me for more than 20 years, even in the face of it being apparently not ever gonna happen.
- My boss rehired me because he values what I bring
- I am excellent at 'making things go' at work
- And all the people in the section called "People whose Lives Have I Made Better"
Executive Summary
A short paragraph describing who I am at my best. Write this when I’m feeling strong—it’s my own mission statement to read when I need reminding.
- "An assertive learner" - Allegra Davidson
- Agile in everything I do
- Empathetic to both others, and to myself
- An occasionally supernatural wisdom
- Optimize everything, systems thinker
Core Needs and Nourishment
What are my main psychological or emotional needs?
- For others to want me around
My North Stars - Aspirational Anchors
- [fill this in]
Ripple Map: People Impacted by Me
A bulleted list with who and a short description of how I touched their lives
- Alison
- Helped validate her choices
- Allegra
- Love
- Chased down thief
- Developing skills, like marketing, rope work, etc
- Pulling her out of depression
- Taught her movie making
- Helped her build first computer
- Taught her how to really own her job
- Modelled being confident for her
- Chad
- Being a long term friend
- Being of like enough mind to validate each other
- Being a good learner
- Francesca & Brian
- Coaching
- Krissy
- Love
- Amazing sex
- Deep listening
- Letters
- Leah
- Love
- Orgasms
- Standing by her during the depression
- Having worked to really listen to her
- Supporting her
- Being a good husband
- Experiment and listen in order to be a good lover
- Overcame jealousy
- Marnie
- Love
- Helped her learn relationship skills
- Including that people will stick by her
- Matt
- Turned his life around
- Michael Bennett
- You know, I have no idea. :(
- Noah
- Helping him digest Krissy's needs in some small way
- People on BART
- Arrest of guy on BART story
- People in Walgreens
- Arrest of guy at Walgreens story
- Sam
- Helped them create a new them
- Tom & Carrie
- Upgrading his working situation
- Christmas story
- His best man
- Troy
- Coming back and trying to pull him out
- UU Congregation
- Presentations
- Cooking
- Technical
- Victoria
- Love
- I can still come for coaching, right?
- Intervening to take her from her mom
- Vaishnavi
- Learned to be bigger
- Yuriy
- Went from a junior engineer to a senior one in record time
Personal Inventory: Who Am I?
Role models, fictional or real, and what I took from them. What strategies, traits, or truths I adopted.
- My dad
- Fix almost anything
- there are times she’ll take care of your needs. be sure you take care of hers too. that’ll make it more likely she’ll keep taking care of yours
- Taking a stereo apart and tracing it's traces to sort what each connector did
- My mom
- Housework skills
- Taking care of kids
- Cooking
- Gomez Addams
- Love with all your heart
- Be yourself and be OK with that!
- Capt. James T. Kirk
- Do things that are the best good whenever possible
- Be strong
- Col. Robert Hogan
- Be strong
- Fight smart
- Capt. Hawkeye Pierce
- Have compassion with others
- Be playful
- Peter Pan
- Donald Shimoda
- Fred Rogers
In addition to the above, my research tells me I have
DID (Multiple Personalities -- ask me about it!). I used to say I had creative multiple personality disorder. I no longer
think it was just me using poetic license. Inside of me:
- Day to day Akien, introverted
- Mister Wizard, the center of what wisdom do I possess and my spirituality. The seer of patterns.
- Healer Akien, who listens to the body.
- Parent Akien, who comforts and connects with wounded children, animals, and so on
- Raging Sex Manic Akien
- Lover and Husband Akien
- Old Reliable, Stoic. Does what it takes. Gets it done. The shortest way thru is thru.
- Romance Akien
- Peter Pan Akien
- Leader Akien, who steps forward to keep things going
- Protector Akien. Who will put a stop to harming others. Steals habits from Dad, Hogan.
- Berserker Akien. Sadist who only hurts bullies.
- On Stage Akien, able to appear to be an extrovert, the part who does masking when we need it.
- Engineer Akien, who also does coding, building, coaching and other interpersonal problem solving things... "What looks like it would make that work?"
- Writer Akien too
- Children of a few different ages, also less distinct these days than in the past.
- A teen who's less distinct than the above
- A very young boy who was hit a lot
Skills & Strengths Inventory
A bulleted list or short descriptions of skills I know I have and that I’m proud of.
- I am confident in being confident
- That's a new one in 4/2025
- Allegra called me Freakishly Confident
- I am confident in my male attractiveness
- That's a new one in 7/2025
- I can think before I react
- Dawn's Barb story
- I usually know what to say
- I almost always see it from what I think is their viewpoint
- I can fix an awful lot of broken things
- Story about what happens when something breaks around the house
- I apologize well
- Making an unexpected friend on social media by deploying the wrong habit
- I am eloquent
- I have written thousands on thousands of pages
- I am creative
- I came up with this
- I am a really good housekeeper
- I hold down a job
- I've been unemployed for a maximum of six weeks in a single stretch since 1987
- I work for a boss now who rehired me because of what he thought of my skills
- My boss treats me as a 'falcon' that he can just fly at problems and forget about
- I make an awful lot of different things as needed
- I am a bodyworker
- I am a really good cook
- I step into danger to take care of my people
- Walgreens story
- BART story
- Charged by dogs
- I am a really good Storyteller
- I am a really good coach
Decisions, Achievements & Milestones
A bulleted list or short descriptions of things I’ve done that I’m proud of.
- All the people I've helped
- Marry the person Dawn was in 1990
- Leave my relationship with Dawn in 2008
- Marry Leah
Testimonials Bank (Things People Said That Lit Me Up)
These can be short and sweet.
- 2025 09 03 Mike Susinski "I honor the combination of confidence and compassion which you have brought to that gathering. I think the men trust you because of that and that is a pretty good accomplishment in this time and place."
- 2025 08 07 Susan Guillory on the Habits presentation: This is awesome, thank Akien. You are appreciated.
- 2025 08 04 Elaine Carlson on the Habits presentation: I am going to read again what you posted. You write well.
- 2025 07 28 Marnie: 'Akien, you're just a really good person'. There was almost a capital G in it.
Performance Reviews (Peer & Mentor Praise)
Quotes or notes from others affirming my effort, impact, or growth. Ask people for these when efforts wrap up. Offer to do the same for them.
- [fill this in]
Ways I Sabotage Myself
- Let the ADD make me avoid a task
Baggage, Trauma I carry
- After my parents passed, my aunt told me that my dad hit me a lot when I was small... Which I knew... But she said "It was like he had to hit you every other day just so everybody would remember who was boss". We all got it. I got it the worst and the longest, since I was the oldest. Mom put a stop to it while they were separated. No hitting the kids anymore was one of her conditions for coming back. I didn't realize it was abuse until my 30s. For about a decade, I replayed the last time that happened, only this time my adult self came into the scene and beat the shit out of my dad. Take that, buddy. If that had ever happened in real life, he wouldn't have gotten up. Ever.
We never talked about it. But he really rethought a lot of his life while he was dying. While I can be vigilantly angry at his 40 year old self, I can't bring that kind of rage to the 55 year old man who was sorry for the ways he'd hurt people when he was younger.
To this day, Leah can still startle me.
Growth Areas, Lessons
Track habits I'm changing; things I’ve struggled with but am actively improving. Show trajectory. Include evidence of progress.
- 2025 06 30 Habit: Eat too much candy, Trigger: Dry mouth, New Behavior: Replace with xylitol gum which is good for my teeth as well. Progress: Success, completed 6/30/25
- 2025 04 22 Tue: Krissy mentioned in FL about lonely men. I've known some. But her mentioning it made me look back... And I have never been that guy. I spend more time writing than doomscrolling, gaming, or any other often solitary activity.
Letters to Future Me
Encouragement or advice from my past self.
- Date: xx/xx/xx "Hey, just wanted to say: no matter what’s going on right now, you’ve come through hard things before. You will again."
- [fill this in]
Self-Evaluations
Reflect on anything notable in life.
Activity:
Date:
What went well?
What did I learn?
What would I do differently next time?
Experience History
This can be work and volunteering, it is a resume… But it is also more than that. Include photos, screenshots, projects, awards, or mementos that visually remind me of who I am and what I’ve done. List current first.
- [fill this in]
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